I remember a January night where I was crying to my Mom on the phone. I was certain I was never going to get an internship. I didn't feel like I had the skills and knowledge necessary to obtain such a position. Fast forward a few months and I fell into an internship position for this semester, as well have had 3 interviews for summer internships. On top of that, I'll be working for the Pirates this summer. Crazy, right?
So how did I go from crying and feeling hopeless to achieving more than I ever imagined?
I did something about it. How was I supposed to know if I didn't try? I've applied to tons of internships. Some I was denied right away, others I haven't heard back from. Yeah, I've been disappointed and discouraged. But, these options right in front of me currently are the best ones for me at this very point. These options were given to me for a reason. Those other positions that didn't follow through, they didn't work for a reason.
I put everything in fate's hands. I am exactly where I need to be in this very moment. I'm the exact person I am for a reason. I have gained and lost the people in my life for a reason. Everything, every single little thing was meant to happen. Instead of resenting what curve ball has been thrown at me, I've put on my glove and made every attempt to catch that speeding ball. If you know anything about my sporting ability, you know I flat out suck at sports. But, that doesn't mean I have tried my hardest.
I no longer waste time more time than necessary being upset over things not going how I imagined. Sure, I still feel upset, disappointed, let down, all of that. But give me a day and I'm fine. I take my time to wallow before refocusing. You see, I can only control so much. I can't control other people or circumstances. But I can control how I use it to empower and push me.
And if people don't want to stick around after that, that's their loss. I have a lot to offer to a variety of people and situations, that's easy to see. I'm driven, compassionate, giving, bright, and creative. And we can't forget that I'm an awesome baker.
My point is, I am so at peace with myself that I don't need to keep people who only weigh me down. Like a bird, I was meant to fly. I was meant to push harder and harder, to go higher, and faster. Others are content with slow and steady. Not me. Some may be content with a 3.2 GPA but each semester I am advancing well over a 3.6. Others may be content with 1 internship. Not me. I want as many as possible.
Mediocrity isn't an option. I'm not about to graduate with 100k in debt and work at a sub par Ad agency. Or a job with no connection to my degree. Never. Every positive step I take while still a student is only going to benefit me.
All I want in life is to be successful. Art has been bursting its way out of my soul from the time I was born. I want to take all that passion and creativity that is flowing through my veins and use it to propel me into something great. I don't know how far that "something" is. It may be Pittsburgh. Maybe it's in London. Hell, I couldn't tell you where it is. But that's what makes it beautiful. I don't know where I'll end up someday. But for now, this bird just has to keep flying till I reach my destination.
