You don't like me

I will forever be confused by boy's who decide they "like" a girl after hanging out 1 time. 

Was it the way I politely laughed at your jokes I didn't understand? Or the way I tried not to swear excessively? 

If you see the point I'm trying to make, you'll realize that everyone is the "best" version of themselves the first time they meet someone. I'm not saying I'm a completely different person, but I'm just a more polished and refined version. Think Shannon 2.0. 

Can you really say you like me when you haven't seen every side of me? 

You haven't seen how outspoken and cranky I am when I'm hungry. Or how quiet I get when I'm tired. You've never seen how angry I get when I've been hurt because I'm trying to protect myself. But you've also never seen the way my eyes light up when I talk about something I'm passionate about. And you probably don't understand how excited I get when I find the "perfect" shoes on sale. 

Or maybe you see something completely different in me that I don't see. Or maybe you "like" me for all the wrong reasons. And why are you so open to telling me you like me so soon? Aren't you scared that I might just like you as a friend? 

Maybe you have a basic criteria for a girlfriend. Nice, funny, cute. Okay, that's not very hard to find. But I guess I just know that besides those exterior features, I have a lot to offer that isn't easily detected.

I'm loyal to the end and have a heart that never hardens. I have a deep passion burning in my soul that I put into everything I do. I stick up for the people I care about because everyone needs a crutch. I have a sense of humor that could make even the hardest person crack a smile. 

We all have those inside qualities, inside beauty, that means so much more than whats on the outside. That's what you truly fall in love with. Sure, straight teeth, perfect hair, and a lean body are all things you may "love" about a person, but that isn't what you should base your love around. 

I'm a senior?

As of this afternoon, I'm done with my junior year in college. Seriously? I feel like last week I was moving in at the beginning of August to help run a summer camp. I can't believe this will be the last night I spend in Concord 407. Hands down Junior year was the best year I've experienced at RMU. Everything may not have turned out the way I planned but that's okay, nothing ever really does. I just have to trust that it's the way its meant to be. However, I can't help but wish I was home, and I feel a slight tinge of sadness that things aren't how I envisioned. 

I hope I never forget the memories I made this year. It all happened so fast. I guess years like this are why they say college is the best years of your life. It's weird, the people that you think will be by your side forever are the first to leave. The people I thought couldn't care less about me are the ones that have been there for me the most. I guess different situations bring out different sides in people, some sides you never knew existed. 

It didn't hit me until now how sad I was for the year to be over. My roommates are still here. The guys have left. I haven't seen some of them in a while. That's the thing, sometimes you don't realize the time spent with people may be your last. 

But I'm content knowing I had nights where I looked around at the people near me and wouldn't change a thing in the world.