Respect. Next to love, it is what everyone wants. No one wants to be treated badly. But did you ever stop to think that a fraction of how you are treated depends on how you treat yourself. Don't get me wrong, I know I've talked previously how if people treat us badly, it does not mean we are bad people. While that is true, how we treat ourselves sets the standard for how others treat us. If you don't respect yourself, you can't expect anyone else to respect you.
So what exactly does that mean to respect yourself? Remember in Mean Girls when Ms. Norbury says "you've got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it alright for guys to call you sluts and whores" ? She's exactly right! I know you think it's funny to call your BFF a whore but would you really like it if a guy called you that? Uhm, no! But just by calling yourself that or allowing a friend to call you that makes it seem like a casual word instead of something I'd never want to be called.
So what exactly does that mean to respect yourself? Remember in Mean Girls when Ms. Norbury says "you've got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it alright for guys to call you sluts and whores" ? She's exactly right! I know you think it's funny to call your BFF a whore but would you really like it if a guy called you that? Uhm, no! But just by calling yourself that or allowing a friend to call you that makes it seem like a casual word instead of something I'd never want to be called.
Another way you can respect yourself is to control your emotions. I know this is a hard one, especially if you're angry! Don't let your mood dictate your manners. This is something I've recently learned but I'm so glad I did! If someone is mad at you and is slandering your name and reputation, let them. They're making a fool of themselves anyway! A true lady wouldn't do that, only a child would. Handle your defeats, failures and short comings with the grace of a lady instead of the grief of a child. And frankly, if you feel the need to badmouth someone after they've hurt you, you've felt that way about them all along. Always remember, what Susie says of Sally says more of Susie than Sally.
In addition, a woman that respects herself would not lower herself to talk negatively of others personal problems. If you know about someones personal problems, they trusted you enough to tell you. By exposing someone else's problems, you're displaying that you don't respect your friend and that you also don't respect yourself. You should feel honored that your friend told you, and you really shouldn't betray her trust. However, maybe she did not want to tell you in the first place but your constant nagging made it impossible. Respect her and yourself to leave the issue alone if she wishes not to talk about it.
In addition, a woman that respects herself would not lower herself to talk negatively of others personal problems. If you know about someones personal problems, they trusted you enough to tell you. By exposing someone else's problems, you're displaying that you don't respect your friend and that you also don't respect yourself. You should feel honored that your friend told you, and you really shouldn't betray her trust. However, maybe she did not want to tell you in the first place but your constant nagging made it impossible. Respect her and yourself to leave the issue alone if she wishes not to talk about it.
Be modest! But don't confuse modest with dressing like this:
I'm not saying you shouldn't show skin at all, but keep it classy. Wearing super short shorts and a revealing top just screams: HEY, LOOK AT MY BODY, ONLY TALK TO ME BECAUSE OF MY BODY AND ONLY "LIKE" ME BECAUSE OF MY BODY. OH AND I LOVE ATTENTION.
Just no.
Gentlemen are few and far between these days. But that's because we don't make them rise to that level! Girls are so easy to give away so much, so easily, that guys don't have to work for it. Leave a little to the imagination! Focus on one body part to show off and downplay the rest. I don't know about you but the thought of a guy liking me for such a shallow reason just disgusts me! There is so much more to me than my body and I want someone to like me for my heart, not my appearance!
Another tip, ladies, control your liquor. There's no issue with going out and having a good time, just make sure you're aware of yourself and who you're with. Sadly, guys prey on drunk girls hoping to hook up with them. Letting this happen just shows you don't respect that you deserve better than that. It is sad that guys take advantage of girls in this manner but its our job to put an end to that!
In time I hope to continue on this topic in a separate post!
Do you think self-respect is declining?
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