Broken

As I write this post, I'm drinking coffee out of a ceramic mug. Imagine I took that mug and threw it at the wall in front of me with all the force I have. Naturally, the ceramic mug is going to break once it hits the wall. Maybe some of the pieces will break again when it hits the floor. I could walk over to the mess I created and gather the pieces. With those pieces, I could begin to rebuild the mug it used to be. Using some sort of adhesive, I was able to "fix" the mug. However, it's not the mug it used to be. All the big pieces are there, but there are a couple of tiny, missing pieces here and there. And while the glue is holding all the pieces together, is the mug really as strong as it used to be? What happens when the glue dries up? Once again, the mug will fall apart. Maybe not as violently as the first time, but it will crumble without the glue to hold it together. After it falls apart a second time, you decide its time for a new mug. You hate to discard it so easily...you have a ton of memories drinking coffee from this mug. However, you're getting frustrated with your current mug. You're tired of worrying if the super glue holding it together is dishwasher safe and you're hesitant to bump it off your counter because the whole thing might fall apart. As much as you love this mug you got in Disney World when you were 10, you find yourself yearning for something different. Something more mature, strong, reliable, and new.

Take this whole scenario and apply it to a romantic relationship. Yeah, I bet its tempting to get back together with your ex. But wake up, darling! You two broke up for a reason. Somewhere along the way something went wrong and it shattered. I know, I know, he changed and he promised he'll never do XYZ again. He's just so upset about what he did to you that he is disgusted with himself and he begs you to take him back. Of course, being the weak white woman that you are, you do. I kid, I know all of you aren't weak white women, but the minute your phone lights up with a text message from him, all reason goes out the window. You forget that he was a jerk that forgot your birthday, and that he lied to you and all the other crappy stuff. All that matters to you now is that he said that magic word: sorry. 

So you take him back, and its great. You two are sharing milkshakes at BRGR, having deep heart to hearts about both wanting a pet dog when you're like 25, and you're being that couple who holds hand and is making out while walking through the mall. Gag. But, it doesn't last long. You see he's been Snap Chatting that bitch. I know, right? The nerve of him. Like why would he want to see her making ugly faces when you're over here too beautiful to make ugly faces? I don't know either, but you're pissed. You can't believe that he'd do that after promising to change. And unfortunately, you can't see what they were sending each other at 2 am. What is soooooo important at 2 am that he felt the need to answer her?? I'd rather not know, to be honest. 

Now you're just down right mad. All sense of reason is out the window again and you're screaming at him. He screams back at you and through all the yelling its decided that the relationship is over. But is it really over for good? It should be. Yeah, you could go to Target and buy more super glue and try to put the pieces back together again. But you should also buy some gardening gloves. All those broken pieces have sharp edges, edges that will hurt you trying to pick them up. Instead, you wander through the aisles of Target and get a broom and a dust pan. And you make a pit stop at cosmetics and buy some new nail polish, because its essential. You come home and see that old mug, lying there on the floor of your kitchen. Its broken into smaller pieces now, the result of being broken a second time. Being the strong, woman that you are, you sweep all those broken pieces with the sharp edges into the dust pan. Getting stronger, you throw all those pieces into the trash.  

Sometimes, it's easier to throw away the pieces instead of hurting yourself trying to put it back together. While super glue is a miracle product, it doesn't make give things the strength it once had. You can't fix what isn't broken, but sometimes what's broken isn't worth it. Save yourself and your heart and leave the pieces where they are. 

Massachusetts via Instagram

Hey all! Last night I arrived home from being on vacation. For the past week I've been in the greater Boston area. I've only been home for a few hours but I'm so ready to go back. While I saw a lot, I know there is so much I didn't get to see. I guess that just means I have to go back...hopefully sooner than later :)

Reason.

Everything happens for a reason, right? Of course. I'll admit, I question the reason sometimes but I've tried to remember that this is all part of a grander plan. Often times, when one door in our life shuts we fixate on the shut door, trying to open it again. We're so focused on the door that closed that we don't acknowledge or even truly see all the other doors that have opened. In all the time you've spent dwelling on that shut door, did you ever stop to realize that maybe it is shut for a reason? Maybe the person on the other side of that door is no longer needed in your life. Maybe that person hurts you more than helps you, and is hindering you from reaching all that you were set out to be in this world. Every single person in your life is there for a reason. Weather it be to temporary or forever, everyone has a purpose. Some bring happiness, while others bring you experience. But just because someone is in your life, doesn't mean they always will be. Sometimes things go wrong, people change, and everything falls apart. Don't sit there and dwell on what you could have done better, what they did wrong, how you can make everything return to normal. Everything happens for a reason. Don't go back to something just because its comfortable and familiar...sometimes that is what hurts us the most. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Are you ever truly living if you always play it safe? Sitting on the shore is comfortable, but you can't explore new waters until you lose sight of the shore. Brave all the waves, a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor. I know that its hard to move on from someone, especially when you love them. But there comes a point when you need to recognize that sometimes people don't change, things don't always get better, and that sometimes people hurt you more than they help you. If you're lucky, you have two hands: one to help yourself, and one to help others. Unfortunately, sometimes people use their other hand to hurt you. If someone is purposefully hurting you, pray for them. Pray that they receive the help they need. If someone feels the need to make you feel bad, it is because they feel bad themselves. Maybe they need self validation that you still care. Maybe it makes them feel good that they still have control over you. Just because they lack the love for life doesn't give you them right to make anyone feel bad as well. If they want to sink in their own misery, let them. Have enough respect for yourself to realize that you can swim. Swim away from the shore and explore new waters. Swim away from those who don't respect you, love you or help you grow. If you continually let people treat you bad, you are settling for less than you deserve. Know your worth. We all deserve someone who gives us the same amount of love and respect that we give to them. While God puts everyone in your life for a reason, he removes them for a better reason. Remember that <3

Five for Friday

For it being the beginning of summer, it has been off to a great start! While I have been extremely busy, I have loved every minute of it. Here are five things on my mind recently. 

1. Friendship: I never understood how important friendship was until I met the right kind of people to be friends with. In the past I had been "friends" with people who brought me down, caused drama, and just overall weren't great people to build relationships with. I've come to realize the true meaning of a friend and I'm so thankful for the friends I do have. 

2. "The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself" - Friedrich Niezsche 

Be your own person, don't give in. The right people will come to you and accept you as you are. 

3. "After some time you learn the difference, the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. " 

Taken from the poem "After a While you Learn" by Veronica Shoffstall, this line really hit home. I know from experience that there is a difference between wanting the best for someone and trying to control them to do the best for yourself. Love is about appreciation, not possession. This whole poem is wonderful, very true and powerful. Definitely a must read. 

4. Less than 1 week till Boston! Very excited. Planning on visiting Salem, Hyannis, and the North shore. And of course, there will be shopping, Pinkberry, cupcakes and Harvard. 

5. Respect is earned, honesty is appreciated, trust is gained, loyalty is returned. 

Boston Wishlist

As I mentioned before, I'll be flying out to Boston later this month. One thing I'm really excited for is to shop in Boston. Through my research I've realized they have so many stores that Pittsburgh doesn't have. It would be a shame to not buy anything from these stores. I know, I know, I'm just trying to justify the amount of shopping that I will be doing. With that being said, I have my eye on a few items that I hope to see in person and possibly bring home with me! Here they are: 

Chanel 5205

I've been lusting over these for over a year. I'm dying to see them in person. Alas, I haven't been able to find the current price of these sunglasses online so I may just have to drool over these without taking them home. They are gorgeous, though. 

Lilly Pulitzer Delia Dress

The "Lets Cha Cha" print is just too fun for summer! From the exposed zipper to the side bows, this dress is full of cute details. 

Anthropologie Tri-Tone Pom Scarf

If you couldn't tell from my blog makeover, I am obsessed with navy and mint together. When I saw this I knew that I have to have it. It's just too cute and could add so much to a basic outfit. 

We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve

When I first created Sparkling Shannon, I intended it to be a blog about fashion and beauty. However, I soon found that I love writing post where I open up to the internet about whats on my mind. Lately, I find myself wanting to write these types of post more than those about fashion and beauty. Don't get me wrong, those things still excite me but I love having the chance to open up my heart and type out these posts in hopes that they'll help someone out there. 

When I was in high school, I had a terrible self-esteem. I was shy, overweight, and was being bullied. I was bullied by the same group of girls for 6 years. I tried my hardest not to let it get to me but eventually I crumbled. I started to believe all the hurtful things they said about me. The bullying followed me wherever I went, from home, to school, and then to work. To this day I still don't know why those girls hated me and to be honest, I don't want to know. Thankfully, it has stopped now that I no longer work with those girls. High School was a rough time for me. From the minute I stepped into 7th grade, I couldn't wait till college. When I graduated, I thought college would be so much better. While it was, it wasn't what I expected. My freshman year was rough. I just completed my sophomore year. It was better than my freshman year but it still wasn't what I wanted it to be. Luckily, I was able to spend the last month of my Sophomore year making friends and having fun while staying true to myself. 

So lets back up a bit and explore why I'm even writing this post. When I was in high school, I went to Barnes and Nobel and bought The Perks of Being a Wallflower. As soon as I began reading this book, I was hooked. I connected to so many things in the book. This book means the world to me. I fell in love with this book in ways that I didn't think were possible. I know this sounds totally cliche because now that the movie is out everyone and their mother is on the Perks bandwagon, but hear me out. We accept the love we think we deserve. That quote just means so much to me, even all these years later. When I was overweight and shy, I felt that I deserved having people treat me badly. During my senior year of high school, I committed to losing weight. I ate healthy and exercised and lost a significant amount of weight. Don't get me wrong, I was still bullied because of that. Those same group of girls accused me of using diet pills to lose weight. But losing weight made me more confident. By being more confident, I was able to assert myself more and show the world who I truly was. By showing people who I really was, I began to believe that I really was a good person. And once I started believing in myself, I started to see that people treating me bad for no reason had nothing to do with me, but it had everything to do with them. When people did something hurtful to me, I started calling them out on it. Granted, I still had my moments when I felt that I deserved it in some twisted way but now I see that I felt that way only because they wanted me to feel that way. But the only thing I deserve is better. I deserve better. 

I deserve someone who puts in as much effort as I do. I deserve someone who wants to show me off instead of hiding me. I deserve someone who wants me to succeed, just like I want them to succeed. Someone who wants me to become the most me I can be. Someone who gets excited about our relationship. Every single person out there deserves someone. Find someone who is worthy of your love. Someone that will treat you with the same amount of respect and love that you give. Because not everyone deserves your love.