Advice - part 2.

I felt annoyed earlier reading status after status of "new year, new me", "bye 2014, 2015 be good to me." But then I realized how vital it is to reflect on the past year. New beginnings are bittersweet, but exciting. Without a doubt, 2014 has been a great year - and I'm sad to see it go. However, I'm excited to venture into 2015 and continue to grow personally and professionally. 

Last year I took the time to jot down the 80 things I had learned in 2013. I forgot about this list until a few minutes ago, and truly loved reading it again. So many of these lessons are still true, and I'm thankful I've had the opportunity to learn them.  I wanted to continue this tradtion to really think about this past year and what I've learned from it. 

1. Follow your heart. Seriously. Your heart will lead you exactly where you need to go. 

2. Sometimes you end up where you need to be, not where you'd thought you'd be. 

3. It's okay to be different. Just because you're 22 doesn't you have to follow the crowd. 

4. Enjoy your youth, but don't use it as an excuse to not follow your dreams. 

5. The people you say you can't are scared that you will. 

6. Everything boils down to priorities. 

7. If you ever have to question someone's feelings for you, it is NOT worth it. 

8. You get what you settle for. Lack of boundaries creates a lack of respect. 

9. Don't settle. Know your worth. 

10. Drive the speed limit. It only took me getting pulled over 3 times to learn this...kinda. 

11. You can't rush something you want to last forever. 

12. "Not my circus, Not my monkeys" - don't bother yourself with problems that don't concern you. 

13. People aren't against you, but they live for themselves. People will screw you over the first chance they get. 

14. Sensitivity doesn't make you weak, it just means you have a big heart. 

15. It is okay to cut off people who poisson your spirit. It doesn't make you a bad person to know what you deserve. 

16. Stay Humble, Work Hard, Be Kind. 

17. Realize and accept that some people won't be around forever. Hug them that much tighter. 

18. Rocky roads will reveal someone's true character. 

19. Someone who feels appreciated will always do more than expected. 

20. Don't chase people. Do you. The people who are meant to be in your life will come and stay.

21. But with that being said, don't forget to show appreciation to those who support and value you. 

22. Opportunity shouldn't determine your loyalty. 

23. "Sometimes your light attracts moths and your warmth attracts parasites. Protect your space and energy."

24. Some see a weed, some see a wish. Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change. 

25. Anything you have to manipulate to get is rarely yours to keep. 

26. 6+3=9 but so does 5+4. 

27. Hating someone makes them important. Forgiving them makes them obsolete. 

28. You don't need religion to have morals. 

29. It's not about what size you wear, but how you wear your size. 

30. Don't complain about something you're not willing to change. 

31. If it doesn't matter, get rid of it. If you can't get rid of it, it matters. 

32. If you round out your edges, you'll lose your edge. 

33. Be Soft. Don't let the word make you hard. 

34. Be humble. You may be wrong. 

35. Someone who truly values you will respect your boundaries. 

36. Quality over quantity. This goes for friends, purses and more. 

37. Be open minded, expose yourself to new things.

38. Everyone has the right to be happy, even if you don't agree with what makes them happy. 

39. Most bad behavior comes from insecurity. 

40. Never hope for it more than you work for it. 

41. Life isn't about what you gain, its about what you give.

42. Just because you're not being valued doesn't mean you're not valuable. 

43. Nothing is a waste of time if you learned something. 

44. Spend less than you have and you'll always be wealthy. 

45. Never ruin an apology with an excuse. 

46. You don't have to say I love you to say I love you. 

47. Indecision is a decision. 

48. Loyalty is all or nothing. You can't be loyal only when it suits you. 

49. Say what you mean but don't say it mean. 

50. Don't let anyone make you feel like you have to do something for them. 

51. Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have. 

52. It is perfectly okay to treat yourself every once in a while. 

53. Love is an action verb. 

54. A woman's mindset will raise your children, not her body or her looks. 

55. You wouldn't be scared of the past repeating itself if you felt you truly learned something from it. 

56. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. 

57. If they do it often, it isn't a mistake - it's their behavior. 

58. There's always room to be a better person. Always. 

59. Not everyone who smiles at you is a friend. 

60. Trust is everything. 

61. Pulling someone down will never help you reach the top. 

62. Don't stop learning outside of the classroom. 

63. Treat everyday like an interview. 

64. The greatest gift you can give someone is the space to be his or herself without the threat of you leaving. 

65. Don't dance with the devil and wonder why you're in hell. 

Fall In Love With My Naked Soul, and the Rest Is Yours

It's summer. Just like a large percentage of girls out there, I'd like to lose 10 lbs by the end of summer. Somewhat easy, right? I lost 40 before, so this shouldn't be too hard. But the more and more I thought about it, I couldn't decide if I truly wanted to. Yes, I am currently a little bit "bigger" than I'd like.

But when I was a size 4/6, I was running everyday for 1 hour, not eating very healthy, and I still felt like it wasn't enough. This was my freshman year of college. 

At my lowest weight, which at one time was 125 lbs., I got a decent amount of attention from guys. But I didn't like this. I didn't like that someone only wanted to talk to me because my tiny frame. I didn't want someone to want to get to know me because they had intentions of having sex with me. 

I don't like people because of their bodies, and I don't want someone to like me because of mine. 

Sure, there are guys that I think are cute. But that's not what matters to me. 

I care about the way you treat me. 

You goals and what you're doing to reach them.

The way you treat others. 

Your respect.

Your passions. 

I am Shannon. I have thoughts, feelings, goals, likes, dislikes, fears, and dreams. I want someone who loves my passion, my spirit, my determination, my kindness, and my laugh.

I want to connect with someone on an emotional and spiritual level before a physical level is even introduced.

Physical intimacy is great, I'm sure. But for me, it needs to be with someone I have a deeper connection with. 

I guess I'm okay with being a bit "bigger" because of this. In a world that is so focused on being a size 0, tall, and flawless, being "me" weeds out anyone with wrong intentions.

I have thick thighs, a little bit of a tummy, and wide arms. 

But I sure as hell have a lot more than that, too. 

If you can accept that, and learn to love myself like I have, you'll be just fine. 

It took me 21 years to come to this point.

I love myself. I recognize my faults, celebrate my successes, and realize my outward appearance isn't nearly as beautiful as my heart.

It took me a lot of heartbreak and lessons to come to this, 21 years worth.

I don't have that kind of time or energy to make someone else see my worth. 

You don't like me

I will forever be confused by boy's who decide they "like" a girl after hanging out 1 time. 

Was it the way I politely laughed at your jokes I didn't understand? Or the way I tried not to swear excessively? 

If you see the point I'm trying to make, you'll realize that everyone is the "best" version of themselves the first time they meet someone. I'm not saying I'm a completely different person, but I'm just a more polished and refined version. Think Shannon 2.0. 

Can you really say you like me when you haven't seen every side of me? 

You haven't seen how outspoken and cranky I am when I'm hungry. Or how quiet I get when I'm tired. You've never seen how angry I get when I've been hurt because I'm trying to protect myself. But you've also never seen the way my eyes light up when I talk about something I'm passionate about. And you probably don't understand how excited I get when I find the "perfect" shoes on sale. 

Or maybe you see something completely different in me that I don't see. Or maybe you "like" me for all the wrong reasons. And why are you so open to telling me you like me so soon? Aren't you scared that I might just like you as a friend? 

Maybe you have a basic criteria for a girlfriend. Nice, funny, cute. Okay, that's not very hard to find. But I guess I just know that besides those exterior features, I have a lot to offer that isn't easily detected.

I'm loyal to the end and have a heart that never hardens. I have a deep passion burning in my soul that I put into everything I do. I stick up for the people I care about because everyone needs a crutch. I have a sense of humor that could make even the hardest person crack a smile. 

We all have those inside qualities, inside beauty, that means so much more than whats on the outside. That's what you truly fall in love with. Sure, straight teeth, perfect hair, and a lean body are all things you may "love" about a person, but that isn't what you should base your love around. 

I'm a senior?

As of this afternoon, I'm done with my junior year in college. Seriously? I feel like last week I was moving in at the beginning of August to help run a summer camp. I can't believe this will be the last night I spend in Concord 407. Hands down Junior year was the best year I've experienced at RMU. Everything may not have turned out the way I planned but that's okay, nothing ever really does. I just have to trust that it's the way its meant to be. However, I can't help but wish I was home, and I feel a slight tinge of sadness that things aren't how I envisioned. 

I hope I never forget the memories I made this year. It all happened so fast. I guess years like this are why they say college is the best years of your life. It's weird, the people that you think will be by your side forever are the first to leave. The people I thought couldn't care less about me are the ones that have been there for me the most. I guess different situations bring out different sides in people, some sides you never knew existed. 

It didn't hit me until now how sad I was for the year to be over. My roommates are still here. The guys have left. I haven't seen some of them in a while. That's the thing, sometimes you don't realize the time spent with people may be your last. 

But I'm content knowing I had nights where I looked around at the people near me and wouldn't change a thing in the world. 

This day.

This day has me feeling some type of way...

Have you ever had those days were you feel different but don't know how to explain it. Physically, I feel fine albeit a little tired. Emotionally, I'm okay, but something is off. I'm not sad, but I'm not happy. Am I disappointed? I'm not sure. 

Maybe I feel this way because its gloomy outside. Or maybe I feel this way because I haven't had a pedicure in months. Either way, I'm feeling blue. 

I've had a lot of great things come my way recently. I should be jumping over the moon, screaming how excited I am. But, with all these good things that have happened, I've come to realize something. 

People want to see you do well, but never better than them. 

Amen to that. Now, this is hard for me to grasp. I'm the type of person that would do anything to help someone. However, I don't like when people see this and take advantage of me. My problem is, is that I'm too trusting of people. Just because I wouldn't intentionally hurt someone doesn't mean someone wouldn't do that to me. And trust me, they have. By now I should know to keep my cards close to my chest but I sadly haven't learned that yet. 

In just one year, I'll be ready to graduate with a degree in Communications with a focus in Advertising and a Public Relations minor. Both industries are extremely competitive. From here on out, I need to remember to not be better than the competition, but do it different. I need to remember to be bold, be bright, be me. 

Flying.

I remember a January night where I was crying to my Mom on the phone. I was certain I was never going to get an internship. I didn't feel like I had the skills and knowledge necessary to obtain such a position. Fast forward a few months and I fell into an internship position for this semester, as well have had 3 interviews for summer internships. On top of that, I'll be working for the Pirates this summer. Crazy, right? 

So how did I go from crying and feeling hopeless to achieving more than I ever imagined? 

I did something about it. How was I supposed to know if I didn't try? I've applied to tons of internships. Some I was denied right away, others I haven't heard back from. Yeah, I've been disappointed and discouraged. But, these options right in front of me currently are the best ones for me at this very point. These options were given to me for a reason. Those other positions that didn't follow through, they didn't work for a reason. 

I put everything in fate's hands. I am exactly where I need to be in this very moment. I'm the exact person I am for a reason. I have gained and lost the people in my life for a reason. Everything, every single little thing was meant to happen. Instead of resenting what curve ball has been thrown at me, I've put on my glove and made every attempt to catch that speeding ball. If you know anything about my sporting ability, you know I flat out suck at sports. But, that doesn't mean I have tried my hardest. 

I no longer waste time more time than necessary being upset over things not going how I imagined. Sure, I still feel upset, disappointed, let down, all of that. But give me a day and I'm fine. I take my time to wallow before refocusing. You see, I can only control so much. I can't control other people or circumstances. But I can control how I use it to empower and push me.

 And if people don't want to stick around after that, that's their loss. I have a lot to offer to a variety of people and situations, that's easy to see. I'm driven, compassionate, giving, bright, and creative. And we can't forget that I'm an awesome baker. 

My point is, I am so at peace with myself that I don't need to keep people who only weigh me down. Like a bird, I was meant to fly. I was meant to push harder and harder, to go higher, and faster. Others are content with slow and steady. Not me. Some may be content with a 3.2 GPA but each semester I am advancing well over a 3.6. Others may be content with 1 internship. Not me. I want as many as possible. 

Mediocrity isn't an option. I'm not about to graduate with 100k in debt and work at a sub par Ad agency. Or a job with no connection to my degree. Never. Every positive step I take while still a student is only going to benefit me. 

All I want in life is to be successful. Art has been bursting its way out of my soul from the time I was born. I want to take all that passion and creativity that is flowing through my veins and use it to propel me into something great. I don't know how far that "something" is. It may be Pittsburgh. Maybe it's in London. Hell, I couldn't tell you where it is. But that's what makes it beautiful. I don't know where I'll end up someday. But for now, this bird just has to keep flying till I reach my destination. 

"The Struggle is Part of the Story"

If you're lucky, you have two hands. While those hands can do many things, one of the best things they can be used for is to help. One hand to help yourself, and the other to help others. But what if someone doesn't want help?

 Sadly, I've had to realize that some people just don't want help. They don't want to be saved and frankly, you can't save those that don't want to be saved. It is so frustrating to watch someone drowning when they could save themselves simply by standing up. But often times, standing up is a journey. They'll fall, and trip. Maybe they'll drown again. The fact of the matter is, you can't change people. They have to change themselves. 

This was such a hard concept for me to realize. Watching countless people you love struggle is heartbreaking, and for a while, I thought I could help them reduce their struggles. Unfortunately, I can't shape someone's journey. Whats meant to be will be and maybe this low point in their life is what they need. The struggle is part of the story. 

As much as I wish I could help them, it is simply not possible. They only thing I can do is provide support. Even a silent presence is better than a thousand empty words. I can't make people be what I want them to be or decide what is best for them. I can only decide for myself and love others. I can only hope my love and silent presence will give them wings to fly, roots to come back, and a reason to stay. 

Advice, from me to you.

Hey Blogger, it's been a while. Last time we spoke I was nearing the end of my summer break. Since then, I completed my fall semester with a 3.7 GPA, turned 21, and learned a lot along the way. In the final hours of 2013 I wanted to come back to this blog and just simply write. I've missed writing these past few months but I just simply haven't had the time. 

2013 was a year like any other. I don't think it was any better or worse than the other 21 years of my life. But maybe I just haven't had the proper time to truly reflect on this year compared to the others. Anyhow, here are some ending notes. 

1. Passion is everything. No matter how absurd your passion may be, grab it with both hands, pursue it, and don't let go. 1 person with passion is way better than 40 who are simply interested. 

2. Don't let people push you around, unless its in a moving cart on your 21st birthday...because that is very fun. But in all seriousness, don't let people take advantage of you. 

3. But on that note, we cant control people. There will always be givers and there will always be takers. If giving leaves you feeling empty, you're giving to the wrong people. 

4. Continuing on that, don't let that change the person you are. Keep being the same bright, sweet, beautiful person you are. Be soft. Don't let the world make you hard.

5. Don't be jaded. Happiness is a choice. There's a lot to be sad about, but there's also a lot to be happy about. Being cheerful and being miserable require the same amount of work. 

6. Be responsible. Take care of your own problems and deal with the consequences. Its okay to ask for help, but don't be mad at others for problems you brought upon yourself.

7. Just be open minded. Its 2014, for God's sake. If you're still going to be closed minded then how can you expect to grow as a person? You're only hurting yourself. 

8. Love is about appreciation, not possession. Being able to love someone so much that you let them go because you know you're hurting them is the truest thing I have ever known. It hurts like hell but wanting the best for someone, even if it means that you aren't apart of it, is an amazing concept. 

9. There is nothing romantic or sweet about being a dysfunctional couple. Get your act together and determine if you need someone or you want someone. There is a difference. 

10. There is also a difference between genuinely liking someone and liking the attention they give you. Know that difference and recognize it.

11. You don't need other people to love your choices if you love them. Live your life for you. 

12. Don't spread yourself too thin. Everyone needs a break every once in a while. 

13. Its okay to not know what you want. You're young, you don't have to have everything figured out. 

14. What ever is meant to happen, is going to happen. I believe in fate. Don't get caught up in the could have, should have, would haves. If it should of happened, it would have. 

15. We were born with the ability to change someone's life, don't waste that opportunity. 

16. There's more to life than whats simple, convenient, and available. Sometimes, those are the things that hurt us. 

17. There's nothing wrong with needing time to be by yourself. Don't let others feel bad about that. 

18. Don't let others make you feel bad about anything you choose to do. Its YOUR life, not theirs. 

19. Being pretty is cool but having a pretty heart is better. 

20. Everyone comes, and leaves, your life for a reason. Trust in it, even when you don't understand. 

21. Don't be reckless with someone else's feelings, and don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. 

22. Love yourself, your whole self. Your flaws, accomplishments - everything. Have the courage to own who you are. Perfectly flawed people are still worthy of being loved.

23. Don't be loyal to people who aren't loyal to you. Know when to let go and don't compromise your self respect. 

24. When someone betrays your trust, its not really them. They've always been acting in a way that's true to themselves. Its our perception of them that was betrayed. 

25. If you have to keep wondering where you stand with someone, you better start walking. Trust me on this one, you'll know when its real.

26. Liking/hooking up/dating people in your friend group isn't a good idea. Way too drama, trust me again on this one. 

27. Religion doesn't determine if you're a good person or not, your actions do. 

28. Experience is worth more than a designer purse. Use that money to go travel. See new sights, go learn something.

29. But don't forget to treat yourself. And sure as hell don't wait for a guy to spoil you. 

30. Don't sweat the small stuff. It wont matter in 5 years, let alone 5 hours.

31. Be thankful for what you have. There are people with less, and also people with more. But if you focus on what you don't have, you'll never have enough. 

32. If you want others to respect you, you have to respect yourself. Remember, you are what you settle for. A lack of boundaries creates a lack of respect. 

33. If you start wondering if you deserve better, you do.

34. Go out and have fun. Go on dates, meet new people. Don't mope around about some asshole forever. 

35. But keep in mind, there are a lot of jerks out there. But there are also good guys, too. 

36. However, good guys are like unicorns (I've never seen one.)

37. When you say "yes" to others, make sure you aren't saying "no" to yourself.

38. Gut instincts are usually right. (and by usually, I mean always.)

39. Sometimes, you just gotta make your own mistakes. No matter how much your friends warn you about someone, you gotta experience it for yourself. 

40. Don't say "I told you so." Sometimes, its better to be kind, than it is to be right. 

41. Everyone is going through their own unique challenges and troubles...be kind. 

42. While we have to make choices that benefit our best interest, every choice we make somehow has an effect on others. Try to be courteous. 

43. If you have a personal problem with someone, go tell that person. Don't go tell their roommates, your roommates, your friend group, the mail man. Seriously! Just go talk to them. 

44. Don't forget your true friends for the newest, latest, friend with all the great party hookups. 

45. Don't allow yourself to be an option. NO. YOU ARE A PRIORITY. 

46. It's better to have loved and lost than live with a psycho the rest of your life.

47. Having good roommates makes for an overall happier state of being. Trust me on this one. 

48. Be bold. Wear lipstick. Wear glitter and sequins. Sparkle. Shine.

49. The relationships you make matter more than the money in the bank and the diploma on the wall. 

50. Go on an adventure with your best friends. Those memories will last a lifetime. 

51. Don't be so hard on yourself. And do not let others make you feel guilty for their mistakes. 

52. Eat the damn cupcake, who cares.

53. Being called the nice girl is way better than being called the bitch.

54. Trust people until they give you a reason not to.

55. Never chase after people. What isn't given freely isn't worth having. 

56. Stop doing things for the sake of posting them on social media. Create a life that feels good, not one that looks good with the toaster Instagram filter. 

57. The way people treat you is a reflection of them, not you. This one took me so long to realize, but instantly changed me once I came upon it. 

58. We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions. Remember this. 

59. There's a blessing in every lesson. You may not see it at first, but you will eventually. 

60. Listen to your body and respond accordingly. Take care of yourself!

61. Learn to be your own best friend. At the end of the day, you really can only count on yourself...might as well be okay with being in your own company.

62. Your parents may be on your back but you'll realize that they're the only people who truly ever had your back.

63. What attract's a mans attention doesn't attract his respect and what turns his head won't always turn his heart. 

64. The marks we leave are too often scars. Be kind. Don't hurt people. 

65. Things don't have to be perfect to be good and still worthy. 

66. Good things (like homemade lasagna) take time. They are worth it, trust me. 

67. Missing people is a part of moving on. It doesn't mean you need them back.

68.  Don't waste your time on drama. Its dumb, no one cares, and it is pointless. 

69. Don't feel bad cutting off toxic people. 

70. You can't control if you get hurt. But you can control who hurts you. 

71. Sometimes its better to react with no reaction. 

72. Hurting people who hurt you makes you just like them. Real maturity is when you look at someone who hurt you and try to understand what they are going through. 

73. How others see you means nothing. How you see yourself means everything. 

74. Encourage the ones you love to grow and explore, but give them roots to come back and reasons to stay. 

75. Anything that makes your heart pound and your blood rush is worth doing. 

76. Don't let hate consume your heart. 

77. Sometimes you have to go through hell to become the person you're meant to be. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. 

78. When people show you who they are the first time, believe them. 

79. Actions mean much more than words.

80. It is okay to lose friends. Some people are brought in our lives to show us who we don't want to be.

I think that covers it...

What did you learn this year? 

Glam Glow Review

If you've never experienced blackheads or acne, you're lucky. Fortunately, I was never plagued with acne in my younger years. I've had the occasional breakout that would last a few days and then disappear. However, I've always had blackheads. While makeup covers them, I always wished they would be gone, and gone for good. I've tried numerous products, from pore strips, to "blackhead clearing scrubs" and everything in between. While pore strips work, I've found that they only work sometimes. To me it seems like they only pull out recently formed blackheads and aren't strong enough to pull out the bigger, deep set ones. 

Recently, I've grown tired of cheap fixes and began looking deeper into the issue of getting rid of blackheads. Pinterest told me to extract them with a bobby pin (kinda works) and it also told me to scrub my nose with baking soda and water (burned like hell). In my investigation, I heard about the Glam Glow Super Mud Clearing Treatment, a mask that "sucks" out impurities from the skin. It's been described by many as a miracle product and has a 4.4 out of 5 rating on Sephora. A product of this magnitude comes at a price, though...a staggering $69. I've always been a girl that prefers quality over quantity but I wasn't so sure if I was ready to drop nearly $70 on this product. 

I found myself in Sephora yesterday and I asked one of the workers if she had any samples available of this product. She did not, but she gladly made me one! This morning when I woke up, I was like I gotta try this.  The mask is dark gray and has a few large particles of sea weed. The mask can be used all over your face or as a spot treatment. My forehead is pretty clear with no visible pores so I decided to focus the product on my t-zone and cheeks, especially on my nose. Once the mask starts to dry, it turns a lighter gray color and you can begin to see the mask drawing out the oil, dirt, and straight up junk out of your skin. Don't believe me? Examples to follow. 

These pictures were taken about 10 minutes after the mask was applied. I kept the mask on for a total of roughly 15 minutes. 

All those little "holes" in the mask are where oil and dirt has been vacuumed out of my skin. 

So what's my final thoughts on this product? 

I think it is awesome. I loved being able to see the results immediately. While it didn't remove all of my blackheads, it definitely removed a lot of impurities from my skin. When my sample runs out, I'm definitely buying the full size of this miracle product! 

*All opinions are solely my own and do not express the opinions of my employer or University. Glam Glow was not sent to me, I received the sample for free from Sephora. Pictures are my own.*

Be soft.

Getting hurt in life is inevitable. It will happen once, and then happen again. After being hurt so many times, I often hear people say "I'm used to it." 

To be honest, I'll never be used to being hurt. And I truly think it is sad that some people do get to the point where they're so used to being constantly hurt that they no longer feel emotion. So many people have described me as being a strong girl. While that may be true on the outside, they can't see or understand what I'm feeling on the inside, or even see me when things become too much to handle. While feeling helpless and upset isn't the best experience to go through, I never want to become used to it. 

Life is full of emotions. Some good, and some bad. But life is a test and our emotions are a lesson. Don't ever apologize for how you feel. Don't build a wall around your heart just so you don't shed a tear. Crying shouldn't be seen as a sign of weakness. Tears simply mean you're alive. Tears show that you've been too strong, for too long. 

It is truly a shame that people no longer make it a priority to treat people the best that we can. Life is rough, we all know that. So why try to hurt others when we know how hard living day by day is? We are confined by the walls we build around ourselves. I say, stop building. Be open. Don't become jaded and bitter about life. 

Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place. 

Respecting yourself

Respect. Next to love, it is what everyone wants. No one wants to be treated badly. But did you ever stop to think that a fraction of how you are treated depends on how you treat yourself. Don't get me wrong, I know I've talked previously how if people treat us badly, it does not mean we are bad people. While that is true, how we treat ourselves sets the standard for how others treat us. If you don't respect yourself, you can't expect anyone else to respect you.
 So what exactly does that mean to respect yourself? Remember in Mean Girls when Ms. Norbury says "you've got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it alright for guys to call you sluts and whores" ? She's exactly right! I know you think it's funny to call your BFF a whore but would you really like it if a guy called you that? Uhm, no! But just by calling yourself that or allowing a friend to call you that makes it seem like a casual word instead of something I'd never want to be called. 

Another way you can respect yourself is to control your emotions. I know this is a hard one, especially if you're angry! Don't let your mood dictate your manners. This is something I've recently learned but I'm so glad I did! If someone is mad at you and is slandering your name and reputation, let them. They're making a fool of themselves anyway! A true lady wouldn't do that, only a child would. Handle your defeats, failures and short comings with the grace of a lady instead of the grief of a child. And frankly, if you feel the need to badmouth someone after they've hurt you, you've felt that way about them all along. Always remember, what Susie says of Sally says more of Susie than Sally.
In addition, a woman that respects herself would not lower herself to talk negatively of others personal problems. If you know about someones personal problems, they trusted you enough to tell you. By exposing someone else's problems, you're displaying that you don't respect your friend and that you also don't respect yourself. You should feel honored that your friend told you, and you really shouldn't betray her trust. However, maybe she did not want to tell you in the first place but your constant nagging made it impossible. Respect her and yourself to leave the issue alone if she wishes not to talk about it. 

Be modest! But don't confuse modest with dressing like this: 

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I'm not saying you shouldn't show skin at all, but keep it classy. Wearing super short shorts and a revealing top just screams: HEY, LOOK AT MY BODY, ONLY TALK TO ME BECAUSE OF MY BODY AND ONLY "LIKE" ME BECAUSE OF MY BODY. OH AND I LOVE ATTENTION. 

Just no. 

Gentlemen are few and far between these days. But that's because we don't make them rise to that level! Girls are so easy to give away so much, so easily, that guys don't have to work for it. Leave a little to the imagination! Focus on one body part to show off and downplay the rest. I don't know about you but the thought of a guy liking me for such a shallow reason just disgusts me! There is so much more to me than my body and I want someone to like me for my heart, not my appearance! 

Another tip, ladies, control your liquor. There's no issue with going out and having a good time, just make sure you're aware of yourself and who you're with. Sadly, guys prey on drunk girls hoping to hook up with them. Letting this happen just shows you don't respect that you deserve better than that. It is sad that guys take advantage of girls in this manner but its our job to put an end to that! 

In time I hope to continue on this topic in a separate post! 

Do you think self-respect is declining? 

4th of July!

Happy July, everyone! I woke up this morning and I was amazed that it is July already. I feel like this summer has gone by so fast! Thankfully, I have 2 more months left before fall semester starts. Although July has just started, it looks like it is going to be an amazing month! I have a few concerts to go to and I'm also seeing The Little Mermaid musical downtown! Of course, I'll do other things as well the rest of the month. :)

One of my favorite things about July is the 4th of July. I love watching and photographing fireworks, having cookouts, and going to our local arts festival. This year will be no exception! Here are some pictures I found that celebrate all things red, white, & blue!

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Patriotic funfetti cupcakes, just like I'll be making for my girls at work!

(mine)

Fireworks I photographed a few years ago on the 4th!

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Love love love sparklers!

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Love this festive mani! It celebrates the holiday without being tacky ;)

Hatred.

Hate. You always hear people say hate is a strong word. Yet, it is thrown around so easily. Talk to any distressed girl and she'll give you a list of things she hates. But does hating something really solve anything? Nope. 

Listen, I'm a girl, I know what its like. It's okay to dislike certain people. Even if its people that once meant a lot to you. But, you have a choice to hate them. If you don't like someone, just ignore them. Quit creeping on them, quit trying to ruin their life, and quit trying to be better than them. Seriously. Not only is that an immature way to deal with the situation, hating them is only hurting you. Hating and resenting someone is like drinking poison and expecting them to die. No matter how maturely you handle the situations life throws at you, things won't always work out. People will be cruel, irrational, and disrespectful. But don't even devote energy to trying to "get even" with them. Karma will take care of it much better than you ever could. Trying to hurt them just like they hurt you is just negative energy that will consume you. Besides, no girl has ever made herself great by showing how small someone is. <3 

Learning.

Personally, I think we should never stop learning. Learning helps us all to grow. And I don't mean learning from academics, I mean learning from life. I firmly believe everything has a lesson and everything happens for a reason. While the lesson isn't always clear when something happens, I think time has a way of revealing the lessons that we have learned. The past few months have taught me so much, and I've made a serious effort to learn from every situation I've encountered. 

1. You never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory. Cherish and don't take those moments for granted. 

2. Always leave those who are important to you with loving words, because you never know if  you'll see them again. 

Short post today but those two mantras have been weighing on my mind lately. 

What have you learned recently?

Currently Loving

When I woke up this morning, I knew I just wanted to write. Having this blog has become my release, my way of talking about whatever I want. Sometimes, my post are almost like informal letters to someone or even myself. As of recently, there are a ton of things on my mind that I could write about but I'm going to hold off on that for a little bit longer. Instead, I'm writing about what I'm currently loving. Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate. 

This simple reminder. 

I've always been in the mindset that if I'm a good person to someone, they should reciprocate. However, that hardly happens. Instead of getting angry about the way they're treating me, I just need to remember a few things. 1. They way they treat me doesn't change my worth because they cant see my value. 

2. Let the pain make me better, and not bitter that there are few good people out there.

3. Remove people from your life that make you miserable more than they make you happy. 

This hair color. 

Okay, this needs to be my hair. Like ASAP, like now. My hair is naturally a medium brown with natural highlights. I feel like this "bronde" color would look awesomeeeee on me. The girl in the picture is glowing and the blonde highlights just brighten up her whole face. 

This saying. 

Simple, yet so true. Surround yourself with quality people and everything becomes magical. 

OOTD

Morning, all! Today I wanted to share a past outfit of the day. I wore this outfit while I was in Massachusetts .  On this day, we traveled to the North Shore and stopped at a few coastal towns along the way. All of our stops were so charming and really encompassed what New England is all about. Every time I look at the pictures, my heart aches to go back. 

Tank: Loft

Shorts: Lilly Pulitzer 

Sandals: Sam Endelman for American Eagle (n/a). Similar 

Broken

As I write this post, I'm drinking coffee out of a ceramic mug. Imagine I took that mug and threw it at the wall in front of me with all the force I have. Naturally, the ceramic mug is going to break once it hits the wall. Maybe some of the pieces will break again when it hits the floor. I could walk over to the mess I created and gather the pieces. With those pieces, I could begin to rebuild the mug it used to be. Using some sort of adhesive, I was able to "fix" the mug. However, it's not the mug it used to be. All the big pieces are there, but there are a couple of tiny, missing pieces here and there. And while the glue is holding all the pieces together, is the mug really as strong as it used to be? What happens when the glue dries up? Once again, the mug will fall apart. Maybe not as violently as the first time, but it will crumble without the glue to hold it together. After it falls apart a second time, you decide its time for a new mug. You hate to discard it so easily...you have a ton of memories drinking coffee from this mug. However, you're getting frustrated with your current mug. You're tired of worrying if the super glue holding it together is dishwasher safe and you're hesitant to bump it off your counter because the whole thing might fall apart. As much as you love this mug you got in Disney World when you were 10, you find yourself yearning for something different. Something more mature, strong, reliable, and new.

Take this whole scenario and apply it to a romantic relationship. Yeah, I bet its tempting to get back together with your ex. But wake up, darling! You two broke up for a reason. Somewhere along the way something went wrong and it shattered. I know, I know, he changed and he promised he'll never do XYZ again. He's just so upset about what he did to you that he is disgusted with himself and he begs you to take him back. Of course, being the weak white woman that you are, you do. I kid, I know all of you aren't weak white women, but the minute your phone lights up with a text message from him, all reason goes out the window. You forget that he was a jerk that forgot your birthday, and that he lied to you and all the other crappy stuff. All that matters to you now is that he said that magic word: sorry. 

So you take him back, and its great. You two are sharing milkshakes at BRGR, having deep heart to hearts about both wanting a pet dog when you're like 25, and you're being that couple who holds hand and is making out while walking through the mall. Gag. But, it doesn't last long. You see he's been Snap Chatting that bitch. I know, right? The nerve of him. Like why would he want to see her making ugly faces when you're over here too beautiful to make ugly faces? I don't know either, but you're pissed. You can't believe that he'd do that after promising to change. And unfortunately, you can't see what they were sending each other at 2 am. What is soooooo important at 2 am that he felt the need to answer her?? I'd rather not know, to be honest. 

Now you're just down right mad. All sense of reason is out the window again and you're screaming at him. He screams back at you and through all the yelling its decided that the relationship is over. But is it really over for good? It should be. Yeah, you could go to Target and buy more super glue and try to put the pieces back together again. But you should also buy some gardening gloves. All those broken pieces have sharp edges, edges that will hurt you trying to pick them up. Instead, you wander through the aisles of Target and get a broom and a dust pan. And you make a pit stop at cosmetics and buy some new nail polish, because its essential. You come home and see that old mug, lying there on the floor of your kitchen. Its broken into smaller pieces now, the result of being broken a second time. Being the strong, woman that you are, you sweep all those broken pieces with the sharp edges into the dust pan. Getting stronger, you throw all those pieces into the trash.  

Sometimes, it's easier to throw away the pieces instead of hurting yourself trying to put it back together. While super glue is a miracle product, it doesn't make give things the strength it once had. You can't fix what isn't broken, but sometimes what's broken isn't worth it. Save yourself and your heart and leave the pieces where they are. 

Massachusetts via Instagram

Hey all! Last night I arrived home from being on vacation. For the past week I've been in the greater Boston area. I've only been home for a few hours but I'm so ready to go back. While I saw a lot, I know there is so much I didn't get to see. I guess that just means I have to go back...hopefully sooner than later :)

Reason.

Everything happens for a reason, right? Of course. I'll admit, I question the reason sometimes but I've tried to remember that this is all part of a grander plan. Often times, when one door in our life shuts we fixate on the shut door, trying to open it again. We're so focused on the door that closed that we don't acknowledge or even truly see all the other doors that have opened. In all the time you've spent dwelling on that shut door, did you ever stop to realize that maybe it is shut for a reason? Maybe the person on the other side of that door is no longer needed in your life. Maybe that person hurts you more than helps you, and is hindering you from reaching all that you were set out to be in this world. Every single person in your life is there for a reason. Weather it be to temporary or forever, everyone has a purpose. Some bring happiness, while others bring you experience. But just because someone is in your life, doesn't mean they always will be. Sometimes things go wrong, people change, and everything falls apart. Don't sit there and dwell on what you could have done better, what they did wrong, how you can make everything return to normal. Everything happens for a reason. Don't go back to something just because its comfortable and familiar...sometimes that is what hurts us the most. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Are you ever truly living if you always play it safe? Sitting on the shore is comfortable, but you can't explore new waters until you lose sight of the shore. Brave all the waves, a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor. I know that its hard to move on from someone, especially when you love them. But there comes a point when you need to recognize that sometimes people don't change, things don't always get better, and that sometimes people hurt you more than they help you. If you're lucky, you have two hands: one to help yourself, and one to help others. Unfortunately, sometimes people use their other hand to hurt you. If someone is purposefully hurting you, pray for them. Pray that they receive the help they need. If someone feels the need to make you feel bad, it is because they feel bad themselves. Maybe they need self validation that you still care. Maybe it makes them feel good that they still have control over you. Just because they lack the love for life doesn't give you them right to make anyone feel bad as well. If they want to sink in their own misery, let them. Have enough respect for yourself to realize that you can swim. Swim away from the shore and explore new waters. Swim away from those who don't respect you, love you or help you grow. If you continually let people treat you bad, you are settling for less than you deserve. Know your worth. We all deserve someone who gives us the same amount of love and respect that we give to them. While God puts everyone in your life for a reason, he removes them for a better reason. Remember that <3

Five for Friday

For it being the beginning of summer, it has been off to a great start! While I have been extremely busy, I have loved every minute of it. Here are five things on my mind recently. 

1. Friendship: I never understood how important friendship was until I met the right kind of people to be friends with. In the past I had been "friends" with people who brought me down, caused drama, and just overall weren't great people to build relationships with. I've come to realize the true meaning of a friend and I'm so thankful for the friends I do have. 

2. "The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself" - Friedrich Niezsche 

Be your own person, don't give in. The right people will come to you and accept you as you are. 

3. "After some time you learn the difference, the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. " 

Taken from the poem "After a While you Learn" by Veronica Shoffstall, this line really hit home. I know from experience that there is a difference between wanting the best for someone and trying to control them to do the best for yourself. Love is about appreciation, not possession. This whole poem is wonderful, very true and powerful. Definitely a must read. 

4. Less than 1 week till Boston! Very excited. Planning on visiting Salem, Hyannis, and the North shore. And of course, there will be shopping, Pinkberry, cupcakes and Harvard. 

5. Respect is earned, honesty is appreciated, trust is gained, loyalty is returned.